Why Authentic Self Care is Essential For All Women

I am a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend and a writer.  My life is rich and wonderful in many ways, but it can also be incredibly stressful.  I am very lucky though, for I am surrounded and supported by incredible women who are as strong as they are giving.  They lend an ear to friends in need of being heard and care for their young children – all while simultaneously looking after the growing concerns of  aging parents.  These powerful women do it all.  I used to stand in awe of their tremendous resilience, envious of their ability to give without missing a beat.  No longer.

For a closer look reveals the cracks in their armor – so many of these incredible women are simply running on fumes.  For the cumulative effect of being everything to everyone is burnout.  Emotionally, physically and psychologically – this is a huge price to pay for not looking after themselves.  And this is why authentic self care is so critical for those looking to avoid a similar path to burnout.

Unfortunately, as with so many things hijacked by our consumer driven society, the concept of self care has been relegated to nothing more than another lucrative marketing trend.  So much so, that the very mention of self care leads to serious eye rolling.  The sheer commodification of self care has led to it being associated with narcissistic lifestyles – think home gym workouts in designer clothes, $20 salads washed down with imported mineral water, and every creature comfort far exceeded.  The Kardashian Effect, if you will – an inflated representation of self care that brings to mind opulent self indulgence and an acquisitive lifestyle. 

So how did a need so simple and vital to our well being, evolve into a cringe worthy spectacle of epic proportions?  When it became synonymous with a seemingly endless array of Instagrammable worthy products, each one promising comfort from the chaos brought on by the frantic pace of our modern lifestyles.  Today, the market is saturated with hundreds of products that were created to profit off of our distress.  Women are particularly vulnerable, given that they traditionally shoulder the majority of child and eldercare in society.  We are specifically targeted with products that promise relaxation and reduced stress – an offer too good for most us to take a pass on.          

Fortunately, authentic self care needn’t come with any added costs.  Simply practice daily habits that allow you to create a buffer against the things that lead to burn out.  For me, self care involves things like starting my day with a freshly brewed cup of coffee in bed, and spiking my heart rate by hill walking with my kids.  For you, it may be dodging out of work early to grab a manicure or joining friends for cocktails after a particularly rough day at the office.  However we wish to define it, one thing is for sure – self-care is an essential part of leading a balanced and meaningful life.

Learning to trust your own inner voice is the key to figuring out how to take care of yourself.  One way to do this is by checking in with all five of your senses, because multi-sensory perception rarely leads us astray.  Doing so will often lead to the simplest of fixes – like making a perfect cup of tea to ward off an afternoon energy slump.  Listening to a favorite playlist uninterrupted, turning your phone off, lifting weights at the gym or reading a book outside – the options are endless.  Choose whatever makes you happy, and most importantly, make the habits an integral part of your day.       

Self care does not have to be complicated or time consuming – doing little things each day can add up in a big way.  Simple, right?  And remember, let go of perfectionism, because sometimes skipping the gym and enjoying an evening of Chinese takeout and Netflix is self care perfected!